Slave to trends that I am, it has not escaped my notice that Non-Fungible Tokens (NFTs) have taken the cryptographic and digital-asset investment community by storm. For those unaware, an NFT is a cryptographic certificate of ownership that can only ever be owned by one person on the blockchain at a time. In practice, the technology has been used to create a sense of scarcity in the previously post-scarcity environment of digital art (among other things).
The concept certainly has its share of detractors: those who claim that NFTs are horrible for the environment, that they enable art theft, that they are a volatile, speculative asset, that they’re simply a form of artificial scarcity, all of which are correct.
However, here at millibeep dot com, I pride myself in solving complex problems with a few pithy sentences and ideas that come to me in the bath. Therefore, I am proud to announce that I will be selling a unique, physical NFT, minted with novel technology that completely sidesteps all of the aforementioned issues.
Since I have shrewdly decided to capitalize on two ongoing market trends, the NFT is an image of a tungsten cube. The metal cube enthusiasts (so called “cubers”) are providing the invaluable service of demonstrating that we do, in fact, live in a world that is beyond satire.
This work was created using the novel Ink-On-Paper (IOP) encoding technique that uses a cellulose substrate for long-term information storage. The substrate is manufactured in a climate-neutral manner, which sidesteps the carbon footprint associated with other crypto-minting techniques. In addition, the fact that it is a physical NFT means that this piece is not subject to the artificial scarcity of other NFT types. You can hold this NFT in your own hands and since it’s the only one in existence, it’s subject to genuine scarcity!
Upon purchase, this physical NFT will be cryptographically signed (read: illegibly autographed) by myself, in order to certify its authenticity. The transfer of ownership will be done over a globally distributed, blockchain-like network of nodes known as the “postal system”. This network has an advantage over traditional blockchains in that it is regulated by an international authority.
The starting asking-price for this piece is ₯160,000, however I will entertain any and all offers, barters, or trades. Inquires should be directed to email@example.com.